Let Not the Sun Go Down on Your Anger

[Note from CAF: I first published this on the blog on December 5, 2008. Given the current conversion of the many changes upon us, I am republishing today.]

By Catherine Austin Fitts

In 1998 I was in Washington dealing with the consequences of having stood in the way of a fraudulent housing bubble: 12 pieces of litigation, an insurance company reneging on its obligations to fund my attorneys, 18 audits and investigations by numerous federal and local agencies, a smear campaign and increasingly serious physical harassment.

To fund managing this process, I was selling and auctioning my company assets and my personal assets, including home, antiques, art, furniture and personal possessions. I watched as a life time of friends and network turned on me or turned away from me.

As the pile on of attacks from all sides grew, I realized that the chances of my surviving were growing increasingly slim. Sobered by this realization, I decided I would research who had been targeted in this manner and what had happened. Who had survived and who had not? Why? What could I learn from their experience that would help me in dealing with a similar situation?

I discovered that I was in a process that could drive a person mad or into a state of anger that would cause them to become physically sick, to lose their capacity to think and operate clearly and to alienate those who wanted to or were willing to help. In short, targeted people were failing physically, mentally and socially as a result of their inability to manage their anger. Their own anger was poisoning them. Their enemies had found a way to make their target their most valuable ally by getting them to destroy themselves.

The stories of the physical disabilities that had resulted as a result of the anger and stress were particularly gruesome. Sobered, I made a commitment to not let the anger that serves as invaluable navigation tool in my life become an anger that would poison me physically or mentally.

I committed to attract a future defined by love, rather than defined by anger.

I did a very serious assessment of my situation. Could I see this litigation through in the face of the smear and harassment? Did I have the capacity to do so? I concluded that I had the physical stamina, the courage,  the intellect and the training to do so. I was prepared to liquidate all of my assets and to live modestly.

However, I did not know if I could endure the process and retain my capacity to love. I decided that my goal was to use the litigation to serve my original purpose — to emerge with real solutions for the challenges that were coming as a result of the financial coup d’etat underway — and with my personal capacity to love strengthened.

As I now watch those around me struggle with the deterioration of our economy and culture, I encourage you to consider these issues. What does it take for you to survive and thrive? How can you protect and build your energy in the face of the challenges underway and ahead? What is the purpose to which you are called? Whom do you love and serve?

If I can presume to give you advice, it would be to quote St. Paul, “let not the sun go down on your anger.”

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